You're Not a Dumpster Fire: Dealing with Catastrophic Thinking in Music

Classical music, a field rich with tradition and excellence, demands not only technical skill but also emotional and psychological resilience. However, the path of a classical musician is often strewn with cognitive distortions—irrational thought patterns that sabotage self-esteem and confidence. These distortions can take root in a musician's mind and grow unchecked, fed by the high standards and external judgment that define the profession.

This article delves into the cognitive distortions experienced by classical musicians, provides relatable scenarios, and offers insights into how they can be addressed through principles of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT). Let’s explore how these mental traps manifest and what can be done to break free of them.

What Are Cognitive Distortions?

Cognitive distortions are like a prankster sneaking into your mental practice room, throwing off your rhythm, and planting ideas that make you second-guess everything. They’re the sneaky little thoughts that pop up when you flub an entrance and suddenly think, Should I abandon music and open a taco truck instead? Or when you compare yourself to that prodigy producing the sound of angels with a TikTok following that rivals even Toscanini's legacy.

For classical musicians, these mental hiccups show up in the most inopportune moments—backstage before a big performance, during a tricky passage, or in the practice room when your technique feels more “Twinkle, Twinkle” than Tchaikovsky. Left unchecked, they can turn your mental tempo into a frenzied presto, sabotaging your confidence. But don’t worry. With some fresh strategies, and a healthy dose of perspective, you’ll learn to face these thoughts with the grace of a conductor pretending they weren’t lost in the score!

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Important Note: In professions where perfectionism and external judgement are prevalent, these cognitive distortions may exasperate any existing mental health issues or vulnerabilities. Therefore, it's important to read the following disclaimers below before reading about the strategies listed in this article.

Disclaimer on Content in Article (click to expand):

The information provided in this article is intended for general informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional mental health advice, diagnosis, or treatment. While the content aims to help classical musicians identify and address common cognitive distortions, it is not tailored to individuals with mental health disorders or even physical injuries or disabilities. If you are experiencing significant emotional distress, persistent negative thoughts, or any mental health concerns, please seek the guidance of a licensed mental health professional or therapist. Never disregard professional advice or delay seeking it because of something you read here.

Note for Musicians with Mental Health Disorders (click to expland):

Note for Musicians Experiencing Physical Injuries and Disorders (click to expand):

Note for Professors & Teachers on Students with Disabilities (click to expand):

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Common Cognitive Distortions in Musicians

All-or-Nothing Thinking

Believing you’re either a success vs. failure, good vs. bad, with no middle ground (e.g., “If I miss one note, the entire performance is ruined.”). Musicians often think in extremes, and letting this rigidity take root can lead to burnout and excessive self-criticism.

Labeling

Defining yourself by a single mistake (e.g., “I’m a bad musician because I missed that accidental.”).

Emotional Reasoning

Believing feelings are facts (e.g., “I feel inadequate, so I must be inadequate.”).

Catastrophizing  This is another form of All-or-Nothing Thinking, except more extreme. It focuses on the absolute worst possible outcome without evidence. (e.g., "If I don't win this competition, my entire career and future is over. I'll have to drop out of music school because my teacher and peers will disown me.") Catastrophizing also highlights "What if?" or "If only" distortions. (e.g., "If only I had been the last person heard by the audition committee, then maybe I would have advanced," or "Sometimes I wonder 'what if I had chosen to play trombone instead of harp? Did I make the biggest mistake of my life? Am I just a fool making one bad life choice after another?'")

Overgeneralization

Overgeneralization is when someone draws sweeping conclusions or universal truths from a single event (e.g., A cellist who receives feedback in a masterclass might conclude, "I can never do anything right," or find themselves concluding that "All violinists are arrogant and shauvanistic," after receiving advice from a violin player in thier quartet). Such thoughts stifle growth and learning. Key words here are "always" and "never", often being used to describe situations that aren't necessarily consistent across all experiences and applying it to all future situations, thus, creating sweeping generalizations about oneself or the world around them.

Should/Shouldn't Statements

Using rigid expectations to judge yourself (e.g., “I should never make mistakes.” "I should have known better." "I shouldn't speak up because others don't take me seriously.")

Personalization

Taking responsibility for things beyond your control (e.g., “The ensemble sounded bad because of me.”)

Mental Filtering

This distortion involves focusing exclusively on the negative aspects of a performance while ignoring the positives. For instance, a violinist might obsess over a single missed note while disregarding their overall highly praised performance (e.g., "I played 99% well, but all I can think about is the one mistake," or, "I received high marks in the competition and earned a significant financial reward and opportunities, but only got 2nd place, which isn't good enough.") Mental Filtering can carry over to other aspects of your life, let's say you're on a tour with your orchestra visiting places you've always wanted to see on your bucketlist, but all you can do is focus on the negative aspects of the tour like forgetting to pack your favorite slippers, or pressing the wrong button on an elevator, or your breakfast was cold, and ignoring all the other positive experiences occurring around you in the present moment.

Magnification and Minimization Where one exaggerates flaws while minimizing strengths (e.g., “Missing that note proves I’m unprepared. I may be known for having the most beautiful tone and expression, but that doesn’t mean anything.”)

Discounting the Positive  

Downplaying achievements as unimportant or “lucky” (e.g., “They only clapped because they felt obligated.") Neglecting successes frequently undermines confidence.

Jumping to Conclusions

This involves making snap judgments without sufficient evidence. A trumpeter may assume they performed poorly after receiving constructive feedback from a conductor, overlooking the assistance extended. Other examples: assuming a sectionmate or friend is angry because they didn't immediately reply to your text, believing your professor is upset with you because they didn't smile at you when you walked by.

Mind Reading

Assuming you know what others are thinking (e.g., “The judges probably think I’m terrible," or "I sound unprepared for rehearsal today, I just know that violist who is talking to their stand partner across the room must be speaking about me!").

Fortune-Telling

Predicting future failure without evidence. It can also lead to self-fulfilling prophecies, where people act based on their pessimistic predictions. (e.g., “I just know I’ll choke during the audition and not get called back for the next round," or "The univeristy isn't going to hire me and I'm going to be stuck in my current position forever and never go further in my career.").

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Self-Reflection and Journal Prompts

Self-reflection is essential in combating cognitive distortions. Journaling can serve as a powerful catalyst for sorting through thoughts. Here are some helpful exercises you can add to your practice routine.

Journal Exercise 1: Identify Your Distortions

While you are practicing your instrument (or at rehearsal), bring a paper journal or use a notepad app on your phone to track your thoughts. Intentionally try to catch what your inner critic or automatic thoughts are saying to you. Note any negative feelings or thoughts that pop up in your head while you practice your instrument. Example: That wasn't good enough, or That principal clarinetist giving me feedback yesterday was so snobbish. They think I'm incompetent! If having troubles doing this, think of a performance or practice session in the past where you felt anxious or let down, and write down any specific thoughts or feelings that cross your mind. If you are having troubles applying this to your practice, start off by attempting to catch your inner critic in other situations that you normally have felt uncomfortable. Maybe your inner critic pops up when speaking to someone you feel nervous around, or around authority figures, or situations where you risk rejection or failure, or disapproving parents/partners, or situations where you feel criticized and defensive, etc.

Can you detect any cognitive distortions in that moment? Even if you cannot label what specific type of distortion it is, keep count of the number of critical statements you make to yourself and try to break down your thoughts into two categories: Helps Me Feel or Do VS. Helps Me Avoid Feeling. This helps find the underlying function of the thought.

CRITICAL STATEMENT	HELPS ME FEEL OR DO...	HELPS ME AVOID FEELING...	COGNITIVE DISTORTION
(1) Stupid of me to forget to give the rest of the section the updated bowings! I'm the absolute worst concertmaster!	Motivated to have better communication		Labeling
(2) Timothy NEVER corrects me on fingerings. Who does he think he is? Bet he thinks he's so much smarter than me!		Feeling rejected. I feel the need to defend myself from getting hurt by someone I respect and whos respect matters to me	Jumping to Conclusions Mind Reading
(3) I just know the music director won't like me! I shouldn't have waited until the last minute to practice like a fool. If they don't like me, my career is over. I'll make sure to never take another gig at this orchestra again!	Motivates me to be more prepared	Feeling rejected Feeling guilty for not practicing sooner Anxiety	Fortune Telling Should/Shouldn't Belief Catastrophizing
(4) I feel like a fraud, and that's why I dropped out of the finals at the competition. They only let me get that far because I was the last person to play in each round.		Fear of Success and/or Failure Anxiety	Emotional Reasoning Discounting the Positive Imposter Syndrome

Cognitive distortions often start as a way to cope with challenging situations or emotional stress. Over time, these patterns of thinking can become automatic, even if they are no longer helpful or relevant.

Journal Exercise 2: Explore Other Factors

Cognitive distortions can develop from a variety of factors. Can you also identify any possible factors listed below that reinforce or contribute to the cognitive distortion(s) you identified? If you do, you can note them in your journal and reflect further on them if you like. This can help explore the various intrinsic and extrinsic factors that impact the way you think.

• Life experiences

  Traumatic experiences, adverse life events, or negative expressions from caregivers or parents can all contribute to cognitive distortions.
  

• Personality traits

  A person's personality traits can influence the development of cognitive distortions.
  

• Learned behaviors

  Learned behaviors can contribute to cognitive distortions. For example, someone who only receives praise for achieving perfection may develop all-or-nothing thinking.
  

• Social and cultural influences

  Statements from peers or trusted adults and authority figures, or messages from social media, recordings, the news, or TV can all contribute to cognitive distortions.
  

• Biological factors

  Biological factors may also play a role in the development of cognitive distortions.

This activity helps clarify the thought patterns of distortion influencing your feelings, and the possible function and factors behind them.

Journal Exercises 3: Reframing the Negative Thoughts

Go back to your journal and choose a cognitive distortion you've recognized. This is especially helpful with distortions that you find reoccurring.

Write down the negative thought and then rephrase it into a more constructive thought. For example, transforming “I’ll never master this piece,” into, “There is no such thing as never. Motor skills and development take time and I am refining my playing through a methodical process that is helping me evolve into the musician I want to be. I’m continually improving, and each practice session helps me grow."

Tips on Reframing Cognitive Distortions

• Challenge the thought distortions by asking yourself if it is based on facts or assumptions and consider alternative explanations.
  

• Practice self-compassion by treating yourself with the same kindness you’d offer a friend in a similar situation, reminding yourself that making mistakes or feeling inadequate at times is part of being human. View setbacks as an opportunity for growth.
  

• Shift your focus to the bigger picture by asking if the thought is as significant as it feels in the moment or if it’s something you’ll still be worried about in a week or month.
  

• Replace “all-or-nothing” language with more nuanced phrases (i.e. eliminate any always, never, good, bad, if only, what if, and should/shouldn't words from your statements because they cause rigid thinking), and use evidence from past experiences to ground yourself in reality.
  

• Finally, practice gratitude and acknowledge your strengths and accomplishments, which can help counteract negative patterns of thinking. With practice, reframing can become a powerful tool for managing distorted thoughts and fostering a healthier mindset.

CRITICAL STATEMENT	COGNITIVE DISTORTION	REFRAMING DISTORTIONS
(1) Stupid of me to forget to give the rest of the section the updated bowings! I'm the absolute worst concertmaster!	Labeling	"I made a mistake by forgetting to give the updated bowings to the section. This doesn’t define my abilities as a concertmaster—I’m human, and mistakes are opportunities to improve my organization and communication next time."
(2) Timothy NEVER corrects me on fingerings. Who does he think he is? Bet he thinks he's so much smarter than me!	Jumping to Conclusions Mind Reading	"I’ve noticed Timothy hasn’t commented on my fingerings, but I don’t know why. Instead of assuming he looks down on me, I can remind myself that his behavior likely has nothing to do with me. If it bothers me, I could ask for his feedback directly."
(3) I just know the music director won't like me! I shouldn't have waited until the last minute to practice like a fool. If they don't like me, my career is over. I'll make sure to never take another gig at this orchestra again!	Fortune Telling, Should/Shouldn't Statements, Catastrophizing	"I’m feeling nervous about how the music director might perceive me, but I can’t predict the future. One rushed practice session doesn’t define my entire performance or worth. I can focus on doing my best now, and remind myself that one gig doesn’t determine the course of my career."
(4) I feel like a fraud, and that's why I dropped out of the finals at the competition. They only let me get that far because I was the last person to play in each round.	Emotional Reasoning, Discounting the Positive, Imposter Syndrome	"Feeling like a fraud doesn’t mean I am one. Advancing to the finals wasn’t luck—it was a result of my skill and hard work. Dropping out may have been a reflection of my feelings in that moment, but it doesn’t take away from my accomplishments or potential to succeed in the future."

By tracking behaviors, thoughts, or emotions you will gain more awareness of the underlying patterns of thinking. By monitoring how often you think self-critical thoughts, you can begin to work on interrupting them by reframing the distortions. Another good exercise is using self-esteem mantras (outloud or in meditation) to help reinforce confidence.

Journal Prompt 4: Celebrating Wins & Practicing Gratitude

Celebrating Wins

Reflect on a recent success, big or small, in your musical journey (e.g., nailing a tricky passage, a positive rehearsal, or even showing up for practice when you didn’t feel like it). What does this achievement say about your growth and perseverance?

Write about how you felt in that moment of success. What emotions did you experience? What does this accomplishment mean to you?

List three actions or qualities that helped you achieve this win. How can you continue to build on these strengths?

Practicing Gratitude

Think about someone or something that supported your progress as a musician this week. It could be a teacher, a friend, an inspiring performance you heard, or even your instrument itself. What specific things are you grateful for about them or it?

Write a note of gratitude to yourself. Acknowledge the effort, dedication, and resilience you’ve shown in your practice or performances lately. What would you say to encourage and thank yourself?

Looking Forward

Imagine the future of your musical journey. What upcoming goals or milestones are you excited about? How can you celebrate each step along the way, not just the final achievement?

End by writing down three things you’re grateful for right now, both inside and outside your musical life.

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Practical Strategies for Health & Wellbeing

Stop aiming for perfection—it’s overrated, undermining yourself, and frankly, exhausting. Start setting realistic goals. Instead, focus on manageable milestones and celebrate the little wins, like nailing that tricky passage or resisting the urge to throw your metronome out the window.

Mistakes are inevitable, and it's time to embrace failure as a catalyst for growth. (Mozart probably hit a wrong note once or twice—don’t quote me on that.) When a performance goes sideways, channel your inner philosopher: What can this teach me? And remember, a botched recital makes for a great “remember that time I missed my entrance because I saw a friend eating a loud bag of potatoe chips in the front row” story down the road.

Feeling uninspired? Shake things up. Foster a sense of curiousity in your craft. Try experimenting with a genre that scares you a little (yes, jazz counts), or test out a new technique that makes you feel like a beginner again. Curiosity may have killed the cat, but for musicians, it’s the secret to staying creatively alive.

Now, let’s move beyond the journaling advice and dive into some next-level strategies to keep you in tip-top shape:

• Mindfulness for Musicians Think of it as your mental metronome. Practicing controlled breathing or a body scan meditation can help you chill out before a big performance or when the conductor is on their third rehearsal rant.
  

• Self-Esteem Mantras Start your day with affirmations like, “I am a virtuoso” or “My double stops are fire" or "My transposing skills are giving Rizz." Say them with conviction—your cat will eventually stop judging you. But in all seriousness, come up with some healthy mantras that target your most difficult cognitive distortions.
  

• Take Advantage of Wellness Programs  Some music schools offer gold mines of support, like Alexander Technique classes or Musician Wellness Programs tailored to musicians. CU-Boulder, for instance, has a Musician Wellness Program that offers a support group. If your school or organization doesn't have a wellness program or a support group for musicians, consider starting one because they are much needed, and a great resource for others.
  

• Create a Balanced Routine  Schedule practice time alongside self-care activities to avoid becoming a practice-room hermit. Throw in some movement like yoga, Pilates, or even interpretive dance. For a pro touch, consult with specialists in somatics like Alexander Technique or Feldenkrais. Bonus points if you can make it through Pilates without wincing.
  

• Nutrition, Sleep, and Hydration This cannot be emphasized enough. Eat your veggies, drink water like you’re auditioning for a hydration commercial, and get enough sleep so you don’t accidentally nod off mid-phrase.
  

• Biofeedback Training It sounds fancy because it is. This technique teaches you to Jedi-mind-trick your physiological responses to stress. Master it, and your heart rate won’t betray you in front of an audience again.
  

• Reconnect with Your Purpose When the grind gets you down, remember why you picked up that instrument in the first place. Spoiler alert: It wasn’t to fret over fingerings or scroll Instagram during practice breaks. It was to connect, inspire, and share your artistry (and maybe to impress your high school crush).
  

By weaving these strategies into your life, you’ll be better equipped to handle the ups and downs of being a musician. Because let’s face it, the world needs your music—and you need to stay empowered enough to share it. While the demands of classical music are real, with intentional effort and support, musicians can cultivate a healthier relationship with their craft. Begin today by selecting one journal prompt or strategy that resonates with you. Embrace this journey toward self-discovery and healing. Remember, it's not only about the music; it's about nurturing a thriving mind, equipping you to tackle challenges with resilience. (c) Harpsichords & Hot Sauce, 2024